The Hangover Part II

2 Paws

Seen recently at Aksarben Cinema

Has there ever been a sequel that's better than the original? If you time travel back to 1974, The Godfather: Part II came close, but no cigar.

It wasn't even close in this case, but II was still mildly entertaining. Bradley Cooper? Appropriate in the original, I'm so over him in the sequel. Ed Helms? Sympathetic in the original, a bit less so in the sequel. Zach Galifianakis? Hysterical in both. Mike Tyson? A nice surprise in the original, a bit embarrassing in II. Jeffrey Tambor? Short-changed in the sequel. Ken Jeong (Mr. Chow)? It's hard to believe this guy is a real doctor turned comedian/actor, but he's funny each time out of the gate, bitches (loved his "Time in a Bottle" rendition in the elevator). The requisite hooker? Sweet in the original, a bit freaky in the sequel. The script? Tighter in the original, predictable in the sequel. The setting? A good call in both cases.

I guess it's worth a trip to the theatre - especially to see the beauty shots of Thailand on the big screen, but it might make more sense to stay home and rent the original.

Bonus Bones: 1/2 a bone

The monkey was cute, but she was no dog - I hope no other monkeys watching picked up her bad habits. I think I saw a white puppy in one of the street scenes, but then, well, Bangkok took him.

Certified Copy (Copie Conforme)

1 Paw
Seen recently at the Dundee Theatre (still musty, still open)

Please pardon my pea-sized intellect, but I didn't get it. Worse than that, I didn't care that I didn't get it. I just wanted it to be over. So, apparently, did the three people behind us who almost made it through to the end before giving up. (That left a whopping four of us in the theater, by the way.)

Were they strangers who've just met? Were they married and then estranged? These, I'm told, were the questions writer/director Abbas Kiarostami wanted us to wrestle with. I've got another question for ole' Abbas: are you kidding me? William Shimell (James Miller) came off as a whiny aristocrat who likes nothing more than the sound of his own voice. Juliette Binoche (Elle) was just as off-putting in a shrew-like, nut-job sort of way (I particularly hated the lipstick scene in the restroom.)

It reminded me of when my mom took me to see a Carroll (Iowa) production of "Our Town" - while I was in grade school, mind you. My short life was somehow not enriched by sitting through all three acts.

Bonus Bones: 0
No dogs walking the centuries-old streets of Tuscany? I seriously doubt it.

Thor

3 Paws
Seen recently at Aksarben Cinema

Every kid needs a Heimdall. This extraordinary keeper of the watch, whose loyalty and fierceness leave you wide-eyed and breathless, is my favorite Thor character. There's a whole lot more about the film to enjoy, though, even if you aren't a comic book nerd.

Where oh where did they find Chris Hemsworth? With his long blonde mane and towering physique, he looks like an All-Star wrestler ready for make-believe battle on the mat. In the end, it's his charm and humor that win over the audience. Anthony Hopkins sports a series of the greatest eye patches I've ever seen, including one that's part of his head armor. His Odin lends an air of substance to the film that might not be there if another actor had attempted the role. The casting of Clark Gregg (I just saw him in an old Sex and the City episode where he was one of Miranda's speed dates who lied about being an emergency room doctor) as Agent Coulson was a stroke of genius. He's got just the right look and right amount of sarcasm to pull off the one-liners.

The female characters, on the other hand, are mostly throw-a-ways (surprise, surprise). Be sure to sit through the credits for a glimpse of what's next for this guy and his hammer.

Bonus Bones: 2
Pay attention to the pet shop that Thor enters in search of a horse. There's a quick shot of an adorable pen of puppies, but if you blink, you'll miss it.

Fast Five

2 Paws
Seen recently at Aksarben Cinema

Preposterous plot, predictable dialogue, funky soundtrack. Mountaintop Jesus, slum huts, sweaty populace. Beautiful cars, unsafe driving, spectacular crashes. Big guns, big guns, big guns. Bald heads, bulging biceps, tight T-shirts. Feminine objects, long legs, white teeth. Endearing cast, family values, goodness prevails.

I must confess it was fun to watch in a pre-summer blockbuster sort of way. It left me with one question, though: could it have been any louder?

Bonus Bones: 0
Not a hound to be found, which is probably a good thing, considering all those bullets flying around.